Wendy Lee, is a highly sought-after BrandImage Consultant, international speaker, master trainer and prolific author. Wendy is a board member of Virtual Speaker Association International, and also serves as the Associate Editor of AICI (Association of Image Consultant International) Global Magazine.
For the past 18 years, she has dedicated her life to helping thousands of corporate executives define and refine their BrandImage through appearance, behaviour and communication. If you have any burning questions on Image, Branding and Etiquette, write away to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Miss Behave,
I have a situation here. One of my exes (from 2 years ago) has requested to be added into my Facebook. We were staying together for a few years, but unfortunately things didn’t work out. We literally went through hell with our breakup! I am now with another girl and things have been great so far. So, do I add my ex (so as not to appear rude), or should I just ignore it (lest I incurred the wrath of my current love)?
Fr: Christian S.
Tempting isn’t it? There is always a ‘I wonder how she is doing now’ thought lingering somewhere…
Let’s see. If you reject your ex’s request, you might offend her, but your current girl will be happy. You forgo an addition to your network, you lose nothing and life returns to normal.
On the other hand, if you accept your ex’s request, you gain back a friend, and possibly others as you re-enter her circle. Perhaps your girlfriend has a big heart and she won’t mind at all. All goes well and you gain both ways.
However, there’s another outcome. You accept the request; your girl goes ballistic and contemplates suicide. The impact could ripple through your facebook network and drive away all other 4,999 friends. Is it worth that sacrifice?
My take on this? Either you axe your ex, or call yourself Bob and migrate to Instagram or LinkedIn or Twitter.
Dear Miss Behave,
I have a friend who is really getting into my nerves! She is the type that just can’t keep her mouth shut! She will interrupt at every juncture when we are with friends, and rudely continue my sentence for me when I am talking. Then she will start telling how she had had that experience before, and how outrageous it was when it happened to her, blah, blah, blah. How do I get her to keep her mouth shut? Especially now that we communicate through zoom, I’m so tempted to always press the ‘mute’ button!
Fr: Lay See
Dear Lay See,
I too, have had an acquaintance who was a serial interrupter, peacocking his way into every decent conversation I have with my friends. Now, I have tried all conventionally polite tricks - waiting for him to finish and gently pulled the conversation back. But if this happens to you 9 out of 10 times, you’d want to have a wand to wish him into thin air.
So what are we poor victims to do?
Stand your ground. Keep talking. The other participants in the conversation may seem a little bewildered at first, not knowing whom to look or listen to. But when the interrupter notices that you refuse to be hijacked, she will learn to simmer down.
At the end of the story, you can even return the ball to your interrupter and ask her to please continue now with her fascinating tale. Trust me, most of the time she won’t even remember what it was so damn important that she felt compelled to interrupt. It isn’t about the conversation really. It’s only about the attention.
Having said that, please do not indulge yourself with this conduct when it comes to strangers, elders, or new acquaintances. Sometimes, it is better to lose in order to stand out in the crowd.
Dear Miss Behave,
I have always wondered the proper etiquette regarding lipstick stain on drinking glasses. I always get that whenever I’m drinking at parties. Is it proper to wipe it off or do I just leave it?
I know it’s an unpleasant sight, having lipstick marks on every glass you have ever put your lips onto. You can minimize this by:
or…just use a straw.
But seriously girl… You are at a party! You should focus on having fun and being sociable and not doing maintenance on your glass after every sip! Don’t go through lengths to avoid something that is not such a cardinal sin. Just relax…and have another drink!